I’m really trying to stop b&p but end up buying junk food constantly “for the last time” all the time… The other day though I was going through the shop and noticed this massive box of strawberries and instead of going for the donuts i bought it and ate it. It filed me up with pretty much no guilt and it made me realize how good it feels to be “controlled”.
look in the mirror;
she see’s the fear
she’s controlled by a number
her common sense is in a slumber
she’ll never know what’s really there
she’ll never stop; she wouldn’t dare
she’s surrounded by guilt,
all woven together like a quilt
we’re watching her fade away
more and more each day
she’ll never agree
she can’t even see
she won’t be healed by this hurt
Okay new tip that I’ve been trying out and has worked WONDERS: write down everything you eat. I think, for me at least, something that triggers me to binge is the panic I get from not being sure of how many calories I’ve eaten for the day. I never even knew this about myself until I tried writing down my calorie intake. Also, I tend to exaggerate how many calories I’ve consumed in my head and think I might as well full on binge because I’ve ruined everything by having a handful of nuts (just an example). With this method, I can actually see that I am still within a pretty safe range even though I did have those nuts.
Something that really helped me was, like many people here are saying, a vegan diet. As soon as I switched back to eating some meat and dairy, I began b&p’ing again. (Although I think that’s just because going vegan forced me to stop eating all my favorite binge foods!) Working out every day also seems to prevent binges. It felt like my body was getting that endorphin rush from the exercise instead of food binges. It’s very important to try to create some sort of schedule, since bulimia is often an expression of feeling out-of-control and chaotic. What doesn’t help… trying to go low-carb. It will trigger carb binges.
I just finished an ED recovery program that centered largely around having a normalized meal plan. We had a dietitian work with us to develop a meal plan that would meet our energy needs, and a lot of emphasis was placed on eating at regular intervals throughout the day.
The plan consisted of 3 meals and 3 snacks per day. Meals were outlined by ’servings’ of each of the following food groups: starches, protein, milk, fat, fruits and vegetables. Snacks were outlined in terms of ‘choices’ (1 choice was ~100 calories, 2 choice was ~200) I can outline what my meal plan was while I was in the program, which was meant to be a maintainable structure of eating (as in not a weight-gain meal plan) below:
Breakfast: 1 starch, 1 protein, 1 milk and 1 fruit.
(typically 1/2 cup of oatmeal made with milk, sliced banana and ~3 tbsp of almonds)
Snack: 1 ch. (a fruit, a granola bar, veggies and hummus, cup of milk or juice)
Lunch: 2 starch, 2-3 protein, 1-2 vegetable, 2 fats
(typically a sandwich: 2 slices of bread with cheese, spinach, tomato and 1/2 an avocado)
Snack: 2 ch. (a larger granola bar, cheese and crackers, a reg. package of candy, or 2 1 ch. snacks)
Dinner: 1 starch, 3-4 protein, 2(+) vegetable, 1 fat and *1 high energy
* – a high energy choice is typically something like ice cream, a small bag of chips, a chocolate bar, 4 packaged kinds of cookies (e.g. Oreos), a larger muffin or bakery style cookie, etc.
(typically 1/2 cup of cooked rice with stir-fried vegetables and tofu, or a spinach salad with chick peas and black beans, salad dressing and some crackers)
Snack: 1 ch.
The goal was to not leave more than 2-3 hours in between any meal or snack throughout the day. It was incredibly helpful for me to be on this plan while recovering, because to figure out what the NON-physical triggers of binging and purging are, it really is imperative to make sure that you’re getting adequate nutrition. Of course I haven’t listed all the detail about what make a serving size of each thing (which I could if anyone wanted me to), but I would encourage people to set up a sustainable meal plan with someone you trust, and really work at sticking to it. Recovering from this stuff is hard enough even WHEN your body is not physically demanding you to binge. So even if you can’t get into some sort of recovery program, it wouldn’t hurt to make an appointment with a dietitian and figure out what it is that your body really needs.
AND DON’T DEPRIVE YOURSELF OF WHAT YOU WANT. It’s not a lapse in will power to indulge in an enjoyable food – in fact when you’re in the midst of an eating disorder, it’s so much harder to eat the foods you’re so used to depriving yourself of. So try not to be black and white about what you can or can not have either.
Hey everyone,
I don’t have all the answers, I’m working on breaking my own cycle, but here are some ideas.
Today I stumbled upon an interview with a woman named Angela Stokes: http://www.orange.co.uk/images/editorial/angela_split-200×200.jpg
She is well-known in the raw community as someone who was once morbidly obese and an emotional eater. Now she is healthy, and counsels others. She offers lots of ideas and tips here: http://bodyenlightenmentsystem.com/teleseminars.php?eventid=4747773
I found listening to her ideas really helpful.
Last night, I stopped and bought some veggies. I bought some fresh mint and baby dill. While driving home, these herbs filled the car with the most amazing smell and I got SO high! It made me think about what my mood is like when I start to binge – certainly not this GOOD! This made me think about scent and aromatherapy as a possible way to help break into this cycle. For me, my big trigger is coming home at the end of the day and not being able to get past the fridge. In part, I think I use food to decompress, as evenings are the first time during the day that I slow down. If I can talk myself past the kitchen and into the shower, I find a luxurious shower or bath is an amazing way to deal with the stress of the day. Also, in spending some extra time on myself, I start to feel GOOD – way better than how I feel when I turn to food.
This got me thinking about how I can possibly be in the kitchen without putting some food in my mouth, say if I have to put groceries away. I’m not able to be in there very long right now, or I will binge, but here are two ideas:
1. put on some cheesy music and sing and dance around (if I’m singing, I can’t eat)
2. Put on a face mask. I have really sensitive skin, and I find a mixture of baking soda and calamine does wonders, plus it tastes horrible, so I avoid eating or drinking when it’s on. Plus, I’m doing something nice for myself (because having a bunch of hives on my face is NOT conducive to healthy mood/body image/eating habits).
Other great things for skin:
a) adzuki beans (ground in a coffee grinder) – instant facelift – makes the skin smooth, firm and tight
b) ground oats
c) clay (white, green, etc) – depending on skin type
d) essential oils (lavender, rose, etc.)
Mix any combination of these with some water and slather on
I truely believe that excersise in one very important key to helping us survive and manage our problems with food. It helps to burn calories and to increase our metabolisms. I really think that lifting weights really helps because the more muscle mass we have, the higher our metabolisms work which in turn burns more calories. I’m not talking about being Mrs. Olympia here!! I understand all about body image and how the mirror can really be our worst enemy, but I have found that the weights have created a shape in my body that I can except. I do lift heavier weights then the average female (when I find the energy) and I still find that I do not have big bulky muscles. It is proven that women are built different from men so it is really very hard for a women to become big and bulky from lifting heavy weights. For a woman to become one of those professional body builders they really have to do alot of supplements and consume extra protein, and their workout routines are extreme and lengthy. Excersise also helps to balance those chemicals and hormones in our brains and body’s that the doctors are trying to balance with medication. I know that I always feel better after I have excersised and it seems to help my willpower as well. I used to have a bit of an excersise obsession, I could work out for hours on end. It was like I would feel guilty if I didn’t work out for “X” amount of hour every day. Yes, I excepted my body better when I looked in the mirror, but I also felt tired and worn out, and eventually quit all together because I lost interest and then my body would respond by gaining weight and the stress would come back. I have learned that moderation is definately better because it is more managable, and that I have learned how to get the most out of my workouts in a shorter period of time and still see the results. Doing your cardio after your have lifted weights will burn more fat, and doing interval training will also produce the same results. You don’t need to do an hour of steady running on the treadmill (unless you enjoy this!) If you do intervals of going all out to bring your heart rate up, and then slowing down for a rest period (not stopping though) 2 minutes of each for a 16 minute period will give you results and strengthen your heart and bring your metabolism up.
Anyways, I do try to keep my excersise up, but I also have my moments where I just don’t want to do it. I just try to remember how good I feel afterwards and this helps me get there. Even if you only do 10 minutes, that is better then none at all.
I find it extremely hard to discuss diet issues, because I dont know how to eat life a normal human being anymore.
When I am in control of my bulima however, and this tends to only occur when I have this strong control over my diet and exercise regime.
breakfast: green tea
Lunch: 2 peices of fruit
Dinner: chicken and vegetables (this changes) as my parents cook dinner (one of the major triggers of my cycles).
Which brings me too some ideas:
If you are in a situation where you are able to control your environment ie. sabbotage yourself then do it! I know what it feels like to have no control, to feel as though someone else is doing this to you, so you know that when it comes down to saying no it wont happen. You can afford to have ‘binge’ ‘trigger’ ‘bad’ foods in the house. Sometimes this is impossible, for example I am still living with my family, and depend on them whilst getting through uni, so am not in a position to move out. But as soon as I finish at the end of the year Im out of here.
For some of you the trigger may not be the food itself, but rather the environment. This mostly applies to people who can only cycle in one place (usually at home). We have learnt to master our environment and become so skilled at hidding evidence, lieing, sneaking around, that its a part of your routine, your daily life. So if you can change your environment all together this may help, as in move house.
You will never make it on your own. As Rob has mentioned, choose wisely who you confide in. This is absolutely crucial!!! Sometimes it can take a long time to bring up the courage to reach out to someone, and when you do it can be incredibly disheartening if it all goes terribly wrong. I’m sure we’ve all had these experiences in the past, particularly with health care professionals, councellors etc that actually have no understanding or experience with working with people with eating disorders. In my experience the only comfort I have ever recieved is from close friends.
At this point I’d like to raise a question that stems from my unlikely experience of reaching out to friends. In the last 4 years I have reached out to 4 people, 4 of my closed long-term friends, at different points along my journey with eating disorders. Each of these 4 girls have suffered for a considerable period with anorexia, bulima or a combination. And I was not to know this before opening up to them and sharing the dark parts of myself that I usually hide out of shame and self-disgust. Apart from being absolutely shocked, I felt so sad, the people I love were hurting and suffering, and my world over time has exposed this underlying ugliness and darkness. Prehaps the hardest part of my struggles with this disease, is knowing inside and out what the people I love are going through.
So the question from this is do we subconciously surround our selves with people that are like minded (prehaps B groupers), that have the same values, beliefs and thoughts, therefore making it easier for us to stick by our own. They help you to feel at ease because they make the lies your telling yourself almost believable.
The other theory that could be posed here is that people become more like the people that they are around, as in our values and beliefs rub off on others, and visa versa.
I suspect it can be either, and I think I have exerienced both.
I believe that confiding in a close friend (in my case its always been someone with an eating disorder prehaps because its easy and they understand) can be either positive or negative, as ive experienced both sides of the coin. My best freind right now, we both want to get better, and we rarely share our little tricks, as we know this is not going to help with our goal. In the past though, girlfriends have taught me to improve at my talents, its not conscously done, but it often happens. So the message is I think be careful who you bring into this aspect of your life, and ask yourself if the relationships you have are sabbotaging your recovery or sabbotaging your habits.
Sometimes we all need to be told what we already know and what is common sense, and I think thats where we can help each other to put some hope and direction back into our fit to rid ourselves of the label that seemingly has become us.
As a high-raw Vegan, I have had to adapt Rob’s suggestions. In the last little while, green smoothies have become all the rage in the raw community. Adding greens to smoothies: up the protein (leafy greens are 40% protein and higher), are gentle on the digestive system as it is liquid and rich in enzymes, very filling, high in fiber and an easy source of high-quality nutrition (trying to wolf down a bunch of collard greens isn’t very easy/tasty). Recipes are available all over the web. Green smoothies don’t have to be savory, adding fruit like mangos, bananas, berries (anything) help to disguise the tartness of the greens and make a pleasant drink. In order to make sure the smoothie is balanced, I add a little bit of something like Vega (mostly available in Canada and the US… so far) or Greens+, something with vitamins and minerals, etc. that fit your lifestyle/nutritional needs. I like Vega because it includes flax, assorted protein sources, digestive enzymes, vitamins and minerals, etc.
Even if you are not vegetarian/vegan, it’s worth considering the protein options that are out there. Animal protein (meat, dairy, whey) is very acid-forming which can be upsetting to our alkaline-loving bodies. Also, some people are allergic to dairy and just don’t know it yet. However, some people really need the animal protein. Everyone is a little different. It’s worth experimenting around a little to find out what works for you.
Soy is a questionable alternative, as we consume it in greater quantities in the West than it was originally consumed, and it is being added to everything (like corn-products) and is therefore sparking a wave of soy allergies. The truly beneficial soy, are the fermented kinds: miso and tempeh. Miso is super salty and is a great addition to soups, dips, sauces, etc. Tempeh is like tofu but fermented and, unlike tofu actually has a flavour of its own. Cook it up and try it out.
Another protein source is in hemp seeds and hemp protein powder. The seeds are a great nutty addition to oatmeal, salads, anything, and hemp provides a complete amino acid profile. Amino acids don’t ahve to be combined in one meal or even one day. Eating a variety of foods ensures thsat er are consuming the different amino acids our bodies need.
So here’s my plan: I am going to try and have smoothies for my meals during the day, with some fruit for snacks and have a giant salad with some avocado (for healthy fat) at night. What I then need to do is find a “wind-down” activity for afterwards. Hmm…
Raw Renegade posted free smoothie recipe videos on their vlog site between July 6 – 10 to promote their new book: http://renegadehealth.com/blog/
I also recommend grabbing Victoria Boutenko’s new book out of the library “Green for Life” which has recipes in the back.
Here’s some of my fave raw vegan food recipes:
Yogurt/pudding/ice cream alternative:
Ingredients: bananas!
Blend bananas in food processor (or blender if you don’t have one), for ice cream use frozen bananas
optional: for flavors add vanilla bean, chocolate/cacao/carob powder, frozen berries as blending; or sprinkle with cinnamon before serving
Asian Slaw
Dressing:
1T agave
1T lemon juice
1T ginger
2T Miso
2T water
Mix and toss with a salad of cabbage, carrot (both sliced into thin strips), broccoli florets and any other veggies (I use watercress and a little avocado too, beets are great). Sesame seeds and 2 green onions to garnish.
Guac Salad
Dressing:
1 avocado, mashed
1 tomato, chopped small
cumin to taste
cilantro as desired
lemon juice to taste
Optional: Dulse (ground in coffee grinder) or Sea salt to taste
Toss with romaine/red/green lettuce, spinach, sprouts, cherry tomatoes, whatever
1. Never get too hungry or too full – eat small portions throughout the day
2. Avoid trigger foods ie( I often binged on cherrios, so when I eat a bowl i get a strong urge to binge, verses if I ate say corn flakes I would not)
3. Don;t deny yourself of any particular food, It will lead to a binge. If you crave a trigger food, go with a friend and get ONE portion of it, eat it, then get away from any more food or toilets and do something distracting
4. MAke sure you are eating a adequate diet with sufficient calories and nutrients …… inadequate meal plans just set you up to be hungry and binge
5. At each meal include protein, carbs and some healthy fat
- carbs give your energy,
- protein maintains muscle and delays hunger
-fat helps with vitamin absorption and is the last to digest meaning if keeps you feeling full the longest
I’m experimenting with a mostly raw vegan diet right now. Without a doubt, I find cooked food extremely emotional, especially carbs like pasta, bread, cookies, etc. I’ve been vegan for over a year now according to my values, but realized that I was not eating much in the way of fruits and vegetables. I find a piece of fruit is useful because it comes as its own “serving size”.
As you start this journey you need to accept that your eating habits are probably very compromised. Even though you think you know a lot about nutrition, you have to suspend some of that knowledge until you can heal a little. I have had clients come to me literally in the throws of starvation telling me they won’t eat asparagus that is not organic because it’s bad for them. What you know, and what will help you now may be radically different at this stage in your life. So, just go with me for a while on this. A multivitamin is important for you in the early stages.
Because of the disruption to your system caused by the binge/purge cycle, we are going to take hunger out of the equation completely. This means going to a 5 meal a day plan. It’s not as bad as it sounds. Breakfast, mid morning snack, lunch, early afternoon snack, dinner.
Of these, dinner tends to be the one that is the most ‘dangerous’. Breakfast is safest. For that reason you are going to use your good knowledge of nutrition to ensure you have a solid high protein breakfast. Typically eggs, or salmon on toast if you can get it. Go easy on the carbs, they are not your friend yet.
Mid morning is often a high protein drink of bananas, strawberries or black berries or blueberries (the anti -oxidants help), milk or soy drink and protein powder (Progressive from New Zealand is the best if you can get it). Make about 500 mls, or around three quarters of a pint. The protein drink continues the protein input but also fills you up a lot and removes any hunger.
Lunch is simple. Salad.
Early afternoon fruit or a yoghurt is a good plan.
Dinner is your high risk time. However, by this time you should not be feeling hungry. A light snack is really all you need at this point. You may want ot shoot for something like fish or sliced meat and a salad in the early stages. Avoid carbs for a while. Following this would typically be when you work on one of your physical outlets like exercise or going for a sauna.
April 21st, 2010 - 7:33 AM
I’m really trying to stop b&p but end up buying junk food constantly “for the last time” all the time… The other day though I was going through the shop and noticed this massive box of strawberries and instead of going for the donuts i bought it and ate it. It filed me up with pretty much no guilt and it made me realize how good it feels to be “controlled”.
January 31st, 2010 - 10:32 PM
look in the mirror;
she see’s the fear
she’s controlled by a number
her common sense is in a slumber
she’ll never know what’s really there
she’ll never stop; she wouldn’t dare
she’s surrounded by guilt,
all woven together like a quilt
we’re watching her fade away
more and more each day
she’ll never agree
she can’t even see
she won’t be healed by this hurt
January 3rd, 2010 - 9:08 AM
Okay new tip that I’ve been trying out and has worked WONDERS: write down everything you eat. I think, for me at least, something that triggers me to binge is the panic I get from not being sure of how many calories I’ve eaten for the day. I never even knew this about myself until I tried writing down my calorie intake. Also, I tend to exaggerate how many calories I’ve consumed in my head and think I might as well full on binge because I’ve ruined everything by having a handful of nuts (just an example). With this method, I can actually see that I am still within a pretty safe range even though I did have those nuts.
December 31st, 2009 - 10:52 PM
Something that really helped me was, like many people here are saying, a vegan diet. As soon as I switched back to eating some meat and dairy, I began b&p’ing again. (Although I think that’s just because going vegan forced me to stop eating all my favorite binge foods!) Working out every day also seems to prevent binges. It felt like my body was getting that endorphin rush from the exercise instead of food binges. It’s very important to try to create some sort of schedule, since bulimia is often an expression of feeling out-of-control and chaotic. What doesn’t help… trying to go low-carb. It will trigger carb binges.
August 4th, 2009 - 9:11 PM
I just finished an ED recovery program that centered largely around having a normalized meal plan. We had a dietitian work with us to develop a meal plan that would meet our energy needs, and a lot of emphasis was placed on eating at regular intervals throughout the day.
The plan consisted of 3 meals and 3 snacks per day. Meals were outlined by ’servings’ of each of the following food groups: starches, protein, milk, fat, fruits and vegetables. Snacks were outlined in terms of ‘choices’ (1 choice was ~100 calories, 2 choice was ~200) I can outline what my meal plan was while I was in the program, which was meant to be a maintainable structure of eating (as in not a weight-gain meal plan) below:
Breakfast: 1 starch, 1 protein, 1 milk and 1 fruit.
(typically 1/2 cup of oatmeal made with milk, sliced banana and ~3 tbsp of almonds)
Snack: 1 ch. (a fruit, a granola bar, veggies and hummus, cup of milk or juice)
Lunch: 2 starch, 2-3 protein, 1-2 vegetable, 2 fats
(typically a sandwich: 2 slices of bread with cheese, spinach, tomato and 1/2 an avocado)
Snack: 2 ch. (a larger granola bar, cheese and crackers, a reg. package of candy, or 2 1 ch. snacks)
Dinner: 1 starch, 3-4 protein, 2(+) vegetable, 1 fat and *1 high energy
* – a high energy choice is typically something like ice cream, a small bag of chips, a chocolate bar, 4 packaged kinds of cookies (e.g. Oreos), a larger muffin or bakery style cookie, etc.
(typically 1/2 cup of cooked rice with stir-fried vegetables and tofu, or a spinach salad with chick peas and black beans, salad dressing and some crackers)
Snack: 1 ch.
The goal was to not leave more than 2-3 hours in between any meal or snack throughout the day. It was incredibly helpful for me to be on this plan while recovering, because to figure out what the NON-physical triggers of binging and purging are, it really is imperative to make sure that you’re getting adequate nutrition. Of course I haven’t listed all the detail about what make a serving size of each thing (which I could if anyone wanted me to), but I would encourage people to set up a sustainable meal plan with someone you trust, and really work at sticking to it. Recovering from this stuff is hard enough even WHEN your body is not physically demanding you to binge. So even if you can’t get into some sort of recovery program, it wouldn’t hurt to make an appointment with a dietitian and figure out what it is that your body really needs.
AND DON’T DEPRIVE YOURSELF OF WHAT YOU WANT. It’s not a lapse in will power to indulge in an enjoyable food – in fact when you’re in the midst of an eating disorder, it’s so much harder to eat the foods you’re so used to depriving yourself of. So try not to be black and white about what you can or can not have either.
July 24th, 2009 - 1:59 PM
Hey everyone,
I don’t have all the answers, I’m working on breaking my own cycle, but here are some ideas.
Today I stumbled upon an interview with a woman named Angela Stokes:
http://www.orange.co.uk/images/editorial/angela_split-200×200.jpg
She is well-known in the raw community as someone who was once morbidly obese and an emotional eater. Now she is healthy, and counsels others. She offers lots of ideas and tips here:
http://bodyenlightenmentsystem.com/teleseminars.php?eventid=4747773
I found listening to her ideas really helpful.
Last night, I stopped and bought some veggies. I bought some fresh mint and baby dill. While driving home, these herbs filled the car with the most amazing smell and I got SO high! It made me think about what my mood is like when I start to binge – certainly not this GOOD! This made me think about scent and aromatherapy as a possible way to help break into this cycle. For me, my big trigger is coming home at the end of the day and not being able to get past the fridge. In part, I think I use food to decompress, as evenings are the first time during the day that I slow down. If I can talk myself past the kitchen and into the shower, I find a luxurious shower or bath is an amazing way to deal with the stress of the day. Also, in spending some extra time on myself, I start to feel GOOD – way better than how I feel when I turn to food.
This got me thinking about how I can possibly be in the kitchen without putting some food in my mouth, say if I have to put groceries away. I’m not able to be in there very long right now, or I will binge, but here are two ideas:
1. put on some cheesy music and sing and dance around (if I’m singing, I can’t eat)
2. Put on a face mask. I have really sensitive skin, and I find a mixture of baking soda and calamine does wonders, plus it tastes horrible, so I avoid eating or drinking when it’s on. Plus, I’m doing something nice for myself (because having a bunch of hives on my face is NOT conducive to healthy mood/body image/eating habits).
Other great things for skin:
a) adzuki beans (ground in a coffee grinder) – instant facelift – makes the skin smooth, firm and tight
b) ground oats
c) clay (white, green, etc) – depending on skin type
d) essential oils (lavender, rose, etc.)
Mix any combination of these with some water and slather on
July 19th, 2009 - 2:08 PM
I truely believe that excersise in one very important key to helping us survive and manage our problems with food. It helps to burn calories and to increase our metabolisms. I really think that lifting weights really helps because the more muscle mass we have, the higher our metabolisms work which in turn burns more calories. I’m not talking about being Mrs. Olympia here!! I understand all about body image and how the mirror can really be our worst enemy, but I have found that the weights have created a shape in my body that I can except. I do lift heavier weights then the average female (when I find the energy) and I still find that I do not have big bulky muscles. It is proven that women are built different from men so it is really very hard for a women to become big and bulky from lifting heavy weights. For a woman to become one of those professional body builders they really have to do alot of supplements and consume extra protein, and their workout routines are extreme and lengthy. Excersise also helps to balance those chemicals and hormones in our brains and body’s that the doctors are trying to balance with medication. I know that I always feel better after I have excersised and it seems to help my willpower as well. I used to have a bit of an excersise obsession, I could work out for hours on end. It was like I would feel guilty if I didn’t work out for “X” amount of hour every day. Yes, I excepted my body better when I looked in the mirror, but I also felt tired and worn out, and eventually quit all together because I lost interest and then my body would respond by gaining weight and the stress would come back. I have learned that moderation is definately better because it is more managable, and that I have learned how to get the most out of my workouts in a shorter period of time and still see the results. Doing your cardio after your have lifted weights will burn more fat, and doing interval training will also produce the same results. You don’t need to do an hour of steady running on the treadmill (unless you enjoy this!) If you do intervals of going all out to bring your heart rate up, and then slowing down for a rest period (not stopping though) 2 minutes of each for a 16 minute period will give you results and strengthen your heart and bring your metabolism up.
Anyways, I do try to keep my excersise up, but I also have my moments where I just don’t want to do it. I just try to remember how good I feel afterwards and this helps me get there. Even if you only do 10 minutes, that is better then none at all.
July 15th, 2009 - 4:33 AM
I find it extremely hard to discuss diet issues, because I dont know how to eat life a normal human being anymore.
When I am in control of my bulima however, and this tends to only occur when I have this strong control over my diet and exercise regime.
breakfast: green tea
Lunch: 2 peices of fruit
Dinner: chicken and vegetables (this changes) as my parents cook dinner (one of the major triggers of my cycles).
Which brings me too some ideas:
If you are in a situation where you are able to control your environment ie. sabbotage yourself then do it! I know what it feels like to have no control, to feel as though someone else is doing this to you, so you know that when it comes down to saying no it wont happen. You can afford to have ‘binge’ ‘trigger’ ‘bad’ foods in the house. Sometimes this is impossible, for example I am still living with my family, and depend on them whilst getting through uni, so am not in a position to move out. But as soon as I finish at the end of the year Im out of here.
For some of you the trigger may not be the food itself, but rather the environment. This mostly applies to people who can only cycle in one place (usually at home). We have learnt to master our environment and become so skilled at hidding evidence, lieing, sneaking around, that its a part of your routine, your daily life. So if you can change your environment all together this may help, as in move house.
You will never make it on your own. As Rob has mentioned, choose wisely who you confide in. This is absolutely crucial!!! Sometimes it can take a long time to bring up the courage to reach out to someone, and when you do it can be incredibly disheartening if it all goes terribly wrong. I’m sure we’ve all had these experiences in the past, particularly with health care professionals, councellors etc that actually have no understanding or experience with working with people with eating disorders. In my experience the only comfort I have ever recieved is from close friends.
At this point I’d like to raise a question that stems from my unlikely experience of reaching out to friends. In the last 4 years I have reached out to 4 people, 4 of my closed long-term friends, at different points along my journey with eating disorders. Each of these 4 girls have suffered for a considerable period with anorexia, bulima or a combination. And I was not to know this before opening up to them and sharing the dark parts of myself that I usually hide out of shame and self-disgust. Apart from being absolutely shocked, I felt so sad, the people I love were hurting and suffering, and my world over time has exposed this underlying ugliness and darkness. Prehaps the hardest part of my struggles with this disease, is knowing inside and out what the people I love are going through.
So the question from this is do we subconciously surround our selves with people that are like minded (prehaps B groupers), that have the same values, beliefs and thoughts, therefore making it easier for us to stick by our own. They help you to feel at ease because they make the lies your telling yourself almost believable.
The other theory that could be posed here is that people become more like the people that they are around, as in our values and beliefs rub off on others, and visa versa.
I suspect it can be either, and I think I have exerienced both.
I believe that confiding in a close friend (in my case its always been someone with an eating disorder prehaps because its easy and they understand) can be either positive or negative, as ive experienced both sides of the coin. My best freind right now, we both want to get better, and we rarely share our little tricks, as we know this is not going to help with our goal. In the past though, girlfriends have taught me to improve at my talents, its not conscously done, but it often happens. So the message is I think be careful who you bring into this aspect of your life, and ask yourself if the relationships you have are sabbotaging your recovery or sabbotaging your habits.
Sometimes we all need to be told what we already know and what is common sense, and I think thats where we can help each other to put some hope and direction back into our fit to rid ourselves of the label that seemingly has become us.
July 14th, 2009 - 11:44 PM
As a high-raw Vegan, I have had to adapt Rob’s suggestions. In the last little while, green smoothies have become all the rage in the raw community. Adding greens to smoothies: up the protein (leafy greens are 40% protein and higher), are gentle on the digestive system as it is liquid and rich in enzymes, very filling, high in fiber and an easy source of high-quality nutrition (trying to wolf down a bunch of collard greens isn’t very easy/tasty). Recipes are available all over the web. Green smoothies don’t have to be savory, adding fruit like mangos, bananas, berries (anything) help to disguise the tartness of the greens and make a pleasant drink. In order to make sure the smoothie is balanced, I add a little bit of something like Vega (mostly available in Canada and the US… so far) or Greens+, something with vitamins and minerals, etc. that fit your lifestyle/nutritional needs. I like Vega because it includes flax, assorted protein sources, digestive enzymes, vitamins and minerals, etc.
Even if you are not vegetarian/vegan, it’s worth considering the protein options that are out there. Animal protein (meat, dairy, whey) is very acid-forming which can be upsetting to our alkaline-loving bodies. Also, some people are allergic to dairy and just don’t know it yet. However, some people really need the animal protein. Everyone is a little different. It’s worth experimenting around a little to find out what works for you.
Soy is a questionable alternative, as we consume it in greater quantities in the West than it was originally consumed, and it is being added to everything (like corn-products) and is therefore sparking a wave of soy allergies. The truly beneficial soy, are the fermented kinds: miso and tempeh. Miso is super salty and is a great addition to soups, dips, sauces, etc. Tempeh is like tofu but fermented and, unlike tofu actually has a flavour of its own. Cook it up and try it out.
Another protein source is in hemp seeds and hemp protein powder. The seeds are a great nutty addition to oatmeal, salads, anything, and hemp provides a complete amino acid profile. Amino acids don’t ahve to be combined in one meal or even one day. Eating a variety of foods ensures thsat er are consuming the different amino acids our bodies need.
So here’s my plan: I am going to try and have smoothies for my meals during the day, with some fruit for snacks and have a giant salad with some avocado (for healthy fat) at night. What I then need to do is find a “wind-down” activity for afterwards. Hmm…
Raw Renegade posted free smoothie recipe videos on their vlog site between July 6 – 10 to promote their new book: http://renegadehealth.com/blog/
I also recommend grabbing Victoria Boutenko’s new book out of the library “Green for Life” which has recipes in the back.
Here’s some of my fave raw vegan food recipes:
Yogurt/pudding/ice cream alternative:
Ingredients: bananas!
Blend bananas in food processor (or blender if you don’t have one), for ice cream use frozen bananas
optional: for flavors add vanilla bean, chocolate/cacao/carob powder, frozen berries as blending; or sprinkle with cinnamon before serving
Asian Slaw
Dressing:
1T agave
1T lemon juice
1T ginger
2T Miso
2T water
Mix and toss with a salad of cabbage, carrot (both sliced into thin strips), broccoli florets and any other veggies (I use watercress and a little avocado too, beets are great). Sesame seeds and 2 green onions to garnish.
Guac Salad
Dressing:
1 avocado, mashed
1 tomato, chopped small
cumin to taste
cilantro as desired
lemon juice to taste
Optional: Dulse (ground in coffee grinder) or Sea salt to taste
Toss with romaine/red/green lettuce, spinach, sprouts, cherry tomatoes, whatever
June 28th, 2009 - 11:00 PM
1. Never get too hungry or too full – eat small portions throughout the day
2. Avoid trigger foods ie( I often binged on cherrios, so when I eat a bowl i get a strong urge to binge, verses if I ate say corn flakes I would not)
3. Don;t deny yourself of any particular food, It will lead to a binge. If you crave a trigger food, go with a friend and get ONE portion of it, eat it, then get away from any more food or toilets and do something distracting
4. MAke sure you are eating a adequate diet with sufficient calories and nutrients …… inadequate meal plans just set you up to be hungry and binge
5. At each meal include protein, carbs and some healthy fat
- carbs give your energy,
- protein maintains muscle and delays hunger
-fat helps with vitamin absorption and is the last to digest meaning if keeps you feeling full the longest
June 28th, 2009 - 6:12 PM
I’m experimenting with a mostly raw vegan diet right now. Without a doubt, I find cooked food extremely emotional, especially carbs like pasta, bread, cookies, etc. I’ve been vegan for over a year now according to my values, but realized that I was not eating much in the way of fruits and vegetables. I find a piece of fruit is useful because it comes as its own “serving size”.
June 23rd, 2009 - 1:14 AM
As you start this journey you need to accept that your eating habits are probably very compromised. Even though you think you know a lot about nutrition, you have to suspend some of that knowledge until you can heal a little. I have had clients come to me literally in the throws of starvation telling me they won’t eat asparagus that is not organic because it’s bad for them. What you know, and what will help you now may be radically different at this stage in your life. So, just go with me for a while on this. A multivitamin is important for you in the early stages.
Because of the disruption to your system caused by the binge/purge cycle, we are going to take hunger out of the equation completely. This means going to a 5 meal a day plan. It’s not as bad as it sounds. Breakfast, mid morning snack, lunch, early afternoon snack, dinner.
Of these, dinner tends to be the one that is the most ‘dangerous’. Breakfast is safest. For that reason you are going to use your good knowledge of nutrition to ensure you have a solid high protein breakfast. Typically eggs, or salmon on toast if you can get it. Go easy on the carbs, they are not your friend yet.
Mid morning is often a high protein drink of bananas, strawberries or black berries or blueberries (the anti -oxidants help), milk or soy drink and protein powder (Progressive from New Zealand is the best if you can get it). Make about 500 mls, or around three quarters of a pint. The protein drink continues the protein input but also fills you up a lot and removes any hunger.
Lunch is simple. Salad.
Early afternoon fruit or a yoghurt is a good plan.
Dinner is your high risk time. However, by this time you should not be feeling hungry. A light snack is really all you need at this point. You may want ot shoot for something like fish or sliced meat and a salad in the early stages. Avoid carbs for a while. Following this would typically be when you work on one of your physical outlets like exercise or going for a sauna.